


nothing ever takes the place of you

by whiterubys



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst, Ash Lynx Lives, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, M/M, Post-Canon, Post-Canon Fix-It, The Holy Trinity of Tags, Trauma, also they get a cat, bc its what they DESERVE, they talk ab their trauma and heal together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-18 17:06:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28870533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whiterubys/pseuds/whiterubys
Summary: Ash finally makes it out to Japan, and him and Eiji begin a life of healing and recovery, together.
Relationships: Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji
Comments: 15
Kudos: 113





	nothing ever takes the place of you

**Author's Note:**

> hellooooooo
> 
> so the quality of writing disintegrates so fast because i charged into this with zero direction slkjergablkjglkjb, but regardless i hope u like it!! i just really wanted to write a fic where eiji and ash build a life together while still recovering from their trauma, and this 5k hellfic spawned
> 
> enjoy !!

Eiji had more near-death experiences in his life than he could possibly count, but he didn’t think he’d ever been more nervous than he was right now.

His palms were sweating as he paced around anxiously, resisting the urge to bite his nails. Glancing at his watch for the second time in 10 seconds, and getting frustrated that it reasonably hadn’t changed yet, he continued to pace, earning a few curious glances from people passing by.

Ash was coming to Japan today. After months and months of waiting, he was finally going to see him again. He’d flown home with an empty feeling, his heart feeling like it was being physically torn out of its chest, piece by piece. When he got the call from Sing that Ash had been found in the library and had lost a lot of blood, he felt  _ fear _ like he’d never known before. When he thought he’d been abandoned, Ash had been trying to get to him, and had nearly died doing so. And that hurt more than any bullet that had pierced Eiji’s skin.

He was in a coma for 13 days, and no one knew if he was going to make it. It was the most excruciating 13 days of Eiji’s life, and it was made much worse that he was overseas and couldn’t be by Ash’s side. He nearly packed all of his things back up and flew back to New York himself, but Ibe had all but dragged him home, insisting that the best thing for both him and Ash was to stay where they were and not put each other in any more danger. Eiji knew he was right, but he hated him for it for a while.

When he woke up, he called Eiji often, and his voice was weak and strained but  _ alive _ and Eiji wanted nothing more than to throw his arms around his neck and breathe in his familiar scent. Sing held up the phone for Ash when he was too weak to do it himself. He’d always complained about being a “third wheel” with the two of them, but when Eiji could hear the smile in his voice, it was hard to believe he was being genuine.

The second Ash was well enough, he bought a one-way ticket to Japan without looking back, and now, all Eiji could do was wait. It wasn’t quite as excruciating as the 13 days he was in a coma, but it was pretty damn close.

Eiji’s heart beat erratically in his chest as he looked at the time and realized that Ash should be getting off the plane any second now, and he took a deep breath to keep himself calm.  _ It’s just Ash, _ he reminded himself, but for some reason, he couldn’t stop feeling so damn nervous to see his best friend.

Eiji kept scanning the crowds of people coming down the escalator, looking for a head of blonde and the red scarf Ash had told him he was wearing. After a few excruciating moments, he saw him, and his heart stopped in his chest.

It was Ash, but he looked different than he had when he last saw him. Like the permanent crease in between his brows was gone, and his body was lighter and wasn’t constantly looking over his shoulder. He looked younger, like the 17 year old boy he was rather than the adult he was forced to become.

And he was  _ skinny. _ It hadn’t been long since he was discharged from the hospital, so by all accounts it made sense, but Eiji still made a silent vow to fatten him up.

“Ash!” Eiji called, but Ash was still too far away to hear him. He got off the escalator, and Eiji started pushing past people to get to him. “Ash!”

Ash snapped to attention, and all but sprinted through the crowd, dropping his duffel bag on the floor as he gathered Eiji into his arms, putting a hand on the back of his head and the other on the small of his back to pull him closer. Eiji’s arms were wrapped tightly around his middle, and he didn’t realize he was crying until he felt the wetness of Ash’s sweater. It seemed Ash was crying, too, because sudden drops of water were falling on Eiji’s neck where Ash’s face was buried.

They pulled away after an eternity, and Ash’s face was  _ glowing. _ His green eyes were glistening with happy tears, and his face was bright as he looked at Eiji as if he was his whole world. “Hi.”

“Hi,” Eiji laughed, wiping the tears from Ash’s cheeks. Ash leaned into the touch, reaching up to grab Eiji’s hand. “I missed you.”

“You have no idea how much I missed you,” Ash said, leaning into Eiji’s hand and pressing a kiss to his palm. Eiji flushed, leaning his head back into Ash’s shoulder, unable to let him go, in fear he’d disappear again.

“I think I have some idea.”

They stood in silence, just wrapped up in each other’s embrace for a few more silent minutes, the world falling to a muted whisper around them. “We should probably get out of the way,” Ash said after realizing people were starting to trip over his duffel bag, and Eiji chuckled, wiping the tears from his eyes. 

Ash picked his duffel bag back up and held Eiji’s hand with his free hand, and Eiji led him to his car that was parked outside. “How was the flight?” Eiji asked Ash as they were pulling out of the terminal, not lost on how Ash was quite literally nodding off.

“Long,” Ash groaned. “I have never been more tired in my life.”

Eiji laughed. “You are always tired.”

“Not like this. I think I’m about to die.”

Of all things that had failed to kill Ash Lynx, it was the jetlag that was going to be the end of him. Eiji resisted the urge to roll his eyes. “Drama queen. You will adjust to the timezone soon enough.” Ash leaned his head against the window and closed his eyes, and Eiji smiled fondly at him, still not quite able to believe that he was here with him.

By the time they made it back to Eiji’s apartment, Ash was fast asleep in the passenger seat. Eiji had to all but drag him inside, and he collapsed onto Eiji’s bed and was snoring in mere seconds. Eiji chuckled and sat down on the side of the bed, brushing Ash’s bangs away from his face and staring down at him, fondness and something heavy in his chest. “I’m really glad you’re here, Ash,” Eiji said softly, leaning forward and pressing his lips to Ash’s forehead. Ash shifted slightly in his sleep, but didn’t rouse, moving closer to Eiji unconsciously. 

Eiji smiled, and wasn’t able to take his eyes off of him for what felt like hours.

\---

Ash stumbled out of Eiji’s bedroom at 5 PM, his hair tousled and a blanket still around his shoulders, looking like he’d just come back from the dead.

Which, to be fair, he more or less had.

Eiji blinked. “Hi.”

Ash groaned in response. “I fucking. Hate. Jetlag.”

Eiji snorted, and Ash slumped down at the table, his head resting in his arms. “Do you want anything to eat?”

“If it was made by you? I could walk to a chemical plant and drink anything from there and it would be less lethal.”

Eiji threw his hands in the air. “Then starve.”

Regardless, Eiji set down a plate of food in front of Ash, and Ash devoured it in minutes. It didn’t take him long to drink the green tea Eiji set in front of him, either. “Jesus, Ash.”

Ash glared at him defensively. “What? I’m hungry.”

Eiji sat down on the couch as Ash got seconds, a book in his lap and a cup of tea in his hand. Once Ash was done eating, he got up and put his dishes in the sink, sitting down beside Eiji and resting his head on his shoulder. It felt so domestic and normal that Eiji couldn’t help but feel a lightness in his chest that he couldn’t describe. Ash wrapped his arms around Eiji’s waist and buried his nose into his neck, making Eiji flush red.

“Are you still tired?”

“Mm,” Ash said by way of answering. “I just missed you.”

Eiji closed his book and set it down on the coffee table, leaning into Ash’s embrace and wrapping his arms around his back. “I missed you too.” Ash pulled away just a fraction, just to be able to look into Eiji’s eyes. 

The atmosphere shifted then, the air filled with a certain tenseness that had lingered before, but wasn’t quite this prominent. Ash’s eyes flitted down to Eiji’s lips, then back up to his eyes, a silent question. Eiji answered by cupping either side of his face and kissing him.

They hadn’t kissed since Ash was in prison, but Eiji had never forgotten what it was like. Ash’s lips were chapped rather than soft, and his hands were rough and calloused on either side of Eiji’s face. But it was never softness with Ash, rather a certain hardness and desperation, like this would be the last moment they would have together.

This was different from the prison, though. Then, Ash had kissed him with an ulterior motive, and they had barely known each other, just indebted to each other and not knowing yet that they were bonded to each other for life. Now, Eiji could feel the love and gentleness that he hadn’t before, as Ash kissed him slowly like they had all the time in the world.

Ash had been his first kiss, and as their lips moved together in tandem, Eiji begged to any god that would listen that Ash would be his last.

Eiji shifted so Ash was on top of him, carding his fingers through his hair and his other hand moving to Ash’s waist. Ash moved away from his mouth, pressing slow, lazy kisses to his cheeks, his jaw, his neck, his weight settling on top of Eiji. Leaning into his touch and letting his eyes flutter shut, his hand moved along Ash’s abdomen where his shirt was riding up. Eiji froze when his fingers grazed what felt like a fresh scar, one that he knew hadn’t been on Ash’s skin before. Ash’s breath hitched and he pulled away, hovering over Eiji so close he could feel his breath on his face.

“Eiji-”

“Let me see it,” he insisted. Ash sighed, sitting up while still straddling Eiji’s hips, raising his shirt just high enough that Eiji could see the thin pink-white mark there, a stain on Ash’s beautiful, pale skin. His fingers moved over it, feather light, and Ash didn’t meet his eyes.

Eiji felt the tears streaming down his face before he could stop them, sitting up and wrapping his arms around Ash’s neck. Ash pulled Eiji into his lap, his arms around him and hands moving slowly up and down his back.

“Please, Ash,” Eiji said, wiping the tears from his face and sniffling. “Please do not scare me like that again.”

“I’m sorry,” Ash said softly. “I’m sorry I never came for you. I swear I tried, I  _ tried, _ but I was so selfish, and it was too late, and I-”

“Hey,” Eiji said, lifting his face from Ash’s shoulder to cup his cheeks. “I never blamed you for that. You never did anything you did without the intention of protecting me.”

Ash’s eyes were suddenly welling with tears too, and he leaned his head against Eiji’s chest. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you. You’re so beautiful and kind and my hands are so  _ dirty. _ ”

“None of it was your fault, Ash. None of it.” Eiji said, running his hands through his hair soothingly. “You did what you had to to survive.”

“I’m a killer.”

“Not to me. To me, you are the person who protected me over himself in any way he could. You are the person who is impossible to wake up in the morning, one of the pickiest eaters I have ever met, and you can make me more mad than anyone ever has.” Ash laughed at that, his hands moving up and down Eiji’s back. “But no one has ever made me happier than you have. And you are the person I love.”

Ash started at that, pulling his head away from Eiji’s chest, his eyes still puffy and watery. “You love me?”

Eiji smiled at him, tucking a strand of blonde hair behind his ear. “Obviously, you dummy.”

Ash leaned up and kissed him again, and it wasn’t quite as gentle as the last one. Eiji could feel the assault of emotions tearing through Ash, the salt of his tears on Eiji’s tongue. His hands were on Eiji’s hips, pulling him impossibly closer despite the fact that their chests were all but plastered together. 

They eventually had to part for air, and Eiji leaned his forehead on Ash’s as he breathed heavily, his hand on Ash’s chest. “I love you too,” Ash breathed so quietly Eiji almost didn’t hear it, pressing chaste kisses to Eiji’s neck. “I love you more than I can say. I don’t ever want to lose you again.”

Eiji smiled, softly kissing the top of Ash’s head. “Do not worry. I told you, I never plan on leaving your side,” he said, and this time, found that it was a promise he could keep.

They laid in bed together that night, Eiji's arms wrapped around Ash and Ash's back pressed into Eiji's chest. Ash trembled from nightmares, like he often did, and Eiji just held him tighter, kissing the nape of his neck and whispering soothing words in his ear, promising that he was safe now, no one would ever hurt him anymore.

He ached with the desire to protect Ash from further harm, to replace all of his awful memories with good ones, his nightmares with dreams. Now that he was away from New York and everyone who wanted to harm him, it finally felt possible, and Eiji had never felt more relieved in his life.

Eiji drifted to sleep that night with Ash’s warmth close to his chest and a conviction in his chest to protect him like Ash had done for him, at any cost.

\---

Over the next few months, Ash had changed, and Eiji saw it more every day. Ash had always been on guard so long as he knew him, aware of every person around him, what they looked like, what they were doing. He’d finally started to relax, the tenseness in his posture dissipating as he slowly began to realize how much safer he was here with Eiji and that he didn’t have to watch his back all the time. He became happier, smiling more around people other than Eiji, and his demeanor went from an intimidating gang leader to a bright, joyful 17 year old boy.

Ash had greeted Ibe-san warmly when they reunited, shaking his hand and sitting down to catch up with him. He met Eiji’s family as well, and they loved him, particularly his little sister, Hina. She’d taken to Ash immediately, and Ash was more than happy to dote on the young girl, despite Eiji’s complaints that she was spoiled enough and Ash was just going to make her more annoying.

There were traces of Ash’s past he couldn’t get rid of, though. His nightmares were still semi-frequent, and sometimes Eiji would wake up in the middle of the night to find Ash staring out the window, as if looking for Blanca aiming at them from a nearby building. He was spooked easily, jumping at sudden sounds and spending full nights sleepless, holding Eiji as if he was shielding him from danger.

Ash wasn’t the only one that had changed, either. When Eiji got back from America, he had near-frequent panic attacks, the first one scaring his mother so badly she took him to the emergency room. They were much less common now, usually only a couple of times a week, and having Ash there helped, but it didn’t stop Eiji’s nightmares completely, or his constant anxiety that had arisen from being thrown into a world he’d never experienced before.

Healing was a slow and painful process for both of them, but they were doing it together, and that was enough. 

Eiji had been seeing a therapist, and when he told her about Ash and that they were living together now, she made a suggestion that Eiji couldn’t pass up.

Ash stood in the kitchen, slowly blinking at him. “What. Is that.”

Eiji waved sheepishly at him with his free hand, the other holding a tiny, orange kitten. “Hey.”

Ash still wasn’t moving, and was just looking back and forth between the bundle in his arms and Eiji. “You definitely said you were going to the grocery store.”

“Took a detour.”

“Great. We’re still out of milk. And you have a literal kitten in your hands.”

Eiji grinned. “Do not act so grumpy. You are smiling.”

Ash slapped a hand over his mouth, which was definitely upturned in a smile that grew wider the longer he looked at the kitten. “Mnot.”

Eiji passed the small creature over to Ash, who held him as if he was the most tender thing in the world, and god, Eiji’s heart was about to  _ explode. _ The kitten put his paws on Ash’s chest, leaning its tiny head up to sniff at Ash’s chin and lips, and oh, God, is this what death felt like?

Despite his heart tightening in his chest and the incurable need to fill his phone gallery with photos, Eiji crossed his arms smugly. “Still grumpy?”

Ash glared at him, but it lacked malice when he was wearing one of the biggest smiles he’d ever seen. “Shut up.”

The kitten had seemed to bond to Ash immediately, because he never left his side and mewled quietly when he was set down. Ash was sitting on the couch later that night, the kitten in his lap and a cup of tea in his hand as he leaned his head back against the couch.

“You know,” Eiji said, sitting down on the opposite side of the couch and smiling softly at the tiny orange lump in Ash’s lap. “We still have to name him.”

“Big Bird,” Ash said with absolutely no hesitation.

Eiji narrowed his eyes. “Either my English is not as good as I think it is,” he said, furrowing his brows, “or that sounds very,  _ very _ wrong.”

“What’s wrong with it?”

“That is a cat, right?”

“Yes.”

“Birds are the things with wings, right?”

“Yes.”

“So…”

“I think it’s cute,” Ash said, grinning wickedly at Eiji. “Or do you need to go back and learn your English with Sesame Street again?”

Eiji tilted his head in confusion, then the joke hit him like a train. “Oh, you bastard.”

Ash laughed, his free hand petting the cat in his lap. Eiji wanted to be mad that the name he picked was literally chosen to make fun of him, but he could not think of a single better one. So they named their fucking cat Big Bird.

His therapist had burst out laughing when Eiji told her, having to wipe actual years from her eyes. “You know, when I said I thought a pet might do you guys good, that isn’t what I meant.”

Eiji held his head in his hands and groaned. “I  _ know. _ ”

Big Bird, who they called Burr for short, was easily one of the best decisions Eiji had ever made. Since day one, Ash had become considerably less tense, and Eiji’s panic attacks were much more bearable when Burr wandered into his lap and laid there until Eiji’s breathing evened out. Plus, oddly enough, it felt almost complete. Like he and Ash were able to build a family together, and Burr was the first member.

He slept in their bed with them, and often curled up in a tiny ball against Ash’s chest, and since then, he’d had considerably less nightmares. As stupid as Burr’s name was, he was the perfect addition to the home they were building, and Eiji wouldn’t have it any other way.

\---

The next chapter of their life began on a snowy day.

It had been 3 years since Ash came to Japan and never looked back, and Eiji couldn’t be prouder of how far he had come. He was working on his certificate to become an English teacher, he doted on his cat more than literally any breathing human, and after a long, long conversation that had caused a couple of arguments, he was seeing a therapist.

“It really does help me,” Eiji had insisted for months, but Ash refused. Not that Eiji could blame him. He didn’t even like talking to Eiji about his past. He’d finally started after a lot of convincing, and now was almost nightmare-free. 

And he was happy. Happier than Eiji had ever seen him. It wasn’t temporary like it was in the pockets of light moments they got when they were on the run. Ash woke up happy, went to bed happy, and his cheeks were gaining creases from how often he smiled. There were bad days for both of them, but the good outnumbered the bad more often than not. 

Today, the snow had cancelled classes for Ash and Eiji was unable to get to work, so they stood together in  _ their _ apartment, holding each other and swaying despite no music playing. Burr was curling around Ash’s legs, meowing insistently, as he got annoyed whenever Ash paid attention to anything other than him.

“I think you have an admirer,” Eiji grinned into the curve of Ash’s neck, staring down at the stubborn ginger cat that did  _ not _ want to give up.

“I have plenty of those,” Ash said, giving one glance down at Burr and pulling away to look at Eiji, a soft smile gracing his lips. “But only one I can devote myself to, sadly.”

“Oh, well, do not let him hear you say that,” Eiji said with a laugh, pressing a slow, languid kiss to Ash’s lips. The warmth spread through his chilled bones, making his body come to life despite the cold outside. Burr meowed even louder, and Eiji groaned as Ash burst out laughing. 

“Alright, come here,” Ash said, releasing Eiji to pick up the cat, who had grown so much larger and fatter from their spoiling that Ash could barely hold him with one arm. Still, he made his best attempt to, drawing Eiji close again with his free hand. Eiji leaned his head on Ash’s shoulder, glaring at the ginger bastard.

“I could put you back where you came from, you know.”

Ash snorted. “You were watching a movie and explaining the plot to him last night, babe.”

Eiji flushed, glaring at Ash through his bangs that had grown much too long. “You are such a traitor.” Ash chuckled at that, pressing a kiss to the top of Eiji’s head, but fell silent and strangely tense. “Hey. What is wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong, it’s just…” Ash sighed. “I’ve been meaning to… talk to you… about something.”

Eiji ran his hand that rested on Ash’s back up and down his spine. “You can tell me anything that is on your mind, you know that. You do not have to be nervous to talk to me.”

“I do know that,” Ash said with a smile. He set Burr down on the couch, and the spoiled bastard was tired enough that he curled up to sleep without another meow of protest. Ash held Eiji with both of his arms, not meeting his gaze. “Just… you can say no.”

“Ash, you are kind of freaking me out.”

In a movement quicker than light, Ash pulled a box from his pocket, and kneeled down in front of Eiji. Eiji’s eyes went impossibly wide. “Ash…”

“Listen, Eiji,” Ash said, grasping his left hand with sweaty palms. “I was… so scared to ask you. Not because I was scared of your reaction, but rather… sometimes I worry that we’re not doing the right thing here. That by being here, I’m still putting you in danger. And… I think if I lost you, I would never come back from it.

“But.” he squeezed Eiji’s hand, and he was certain his heart was going to beat out of his chest. “I love you. And I want to be with you for the rest of my life, whether we die together tomorrow or 60 years from now, when we’re old and wrinkled and hate each other.” Eiji’s breath hitched in his throat, and he suppressed the sob threatening to rise. “So, Eiji Okumura, will you spend the rest of your either very short or long life together with me?”

Eiji was breathless, and he had to gather the strength to even speak. “Yeah,” he eventually breathed out, cupping Ash’s cheek with his right hand. “Of course.”

Ash was  _ beaming, _ easily happier than Eiji had ever seen before in his life, and stood up quickly and kissed him. They were both crying now, and laughing too hard to even properly kiss, but Eiji couldn’t bring himself to care much as Ash slipped the silver ring on his left ring finger. It was simple, but had a small, green gem embedded into it. A jade.

“God, I love you,” Eiji said breathlessly in between kisses, trying to catch his breath between the sobbing, the laughing, and the relentless attack of Ash on his lips. “I love you.”

“I love you,” Ash said, kissing him again, “more than you will ever know.”

It was like their first kiss all over again, but this one filled with the potential for a future. They couldn’t spend more than a moment apart, and Eiji’s lips were growing sore and tender from kissing Ash so much. Eiji pulled him backwards towards the bedroom, and Ash wasted no time in crawling on top of him, pressing loving kisses to his cheeks, his jaw, his neck. Eiji arched into the touch happily, admiring how his ring looked when it was tangled among Ash’s hair.

Ash stopped for a moment to catch his breath, hovering over Eiji and staring at him with pure  _ adoration _ , like he was looking at him for the first time _. _ Even after three years and some change, it made Eiji’s heart tear at the seams. In a swift yet gentle movement, Eiji flipped them over, pressing chaste kisses to Ash’s lips, as they were too sore to do much else.

“I love you,” Eiji said again, and Ash hummed, putting a hand on the back of Eiji’s neck and drawing him closer, kissing him again.

The only warning Eiji had for the moment being nearly broken completely was the jingle of a bell, right before Burr crawled right between them and planted himself directly on Ash’s chest.

Both of them froze for a solid few seconds, staring disbelievingly at the cat who definitely did not have a single care as to what they were doing. Eiji planted his forehead in the sheets directly next to Ash’s head.

“You,” he said, possibly more exasperated than he’d ever been in his entire life, “Have  _ got _ to be  _ fucking _ kidding me.”

Ash’s loud laughter echoed into the walls well into the night, even after Eiji unceremoniously picked Burr up, set him outside, and locked the door. 

Eiji was awake long after Ash fell asleep. When people talked about Ash Lynx, he was often compared to a devil, cunning and devious, talking one into deals that they couldn’t resist but would certainly regret. But as the moonlight illuminated his pale skin, making him glow like some sort of ethereal creature, Eiji couldn’t help but think he was more than a devil, but rather a misguided angel.

He pressed a kiss to his  _ fiancee’s  _ forehead, which caused Ash to groan and shift in his sleep, pulling Eiji closer yet. Unriddled by nightmares, the crease between his brows gone, and the stress lifted from his shoulders, Ash had never looked more beautiful than he did right now. Eiji laid his head down on his chest, wrapping an arm around his waist. “Sleep well, my love,” he said, watching the moon as he drifted off to sleep.

\---

The wedding itself had been small, just the two of them, Eiji’s parents and Hina, Ibe-san, and Max and Sing had been able to fly out to Japan for a week.

They went out to a bar after the ceremony, Ibe-san and Max laughing happily together like they hadn’t been able to before. Hina had taken to Sing much like she did with Ash, eagerly asking him all sorts of questions about New York and California, with Sing reminding her that other parts of America did, in fact, exist. Ash’s hand never left the small of Eiji’s back, and Eiji’s head never lifted from his shoulder.

They walked out to the coast on their own as the sun was setting, hands linked as they stared out into the ocean. 

“Shorter and I always used to talk about what type of person we would marry,” Ash said, a light smile on his face. Eiji looked at him, but stayed silent and let him talk at his own pace. “I always insisted he would marry someone that was way out of his league that could beat the shit out of him.”

Eiji laughed. “Did he agree?”

Ash snorted. “Yes. He had a crush on Cain.”

“Oh my God, he did not.”

“He did,” Ash said, laughing right along with Eiji. “He told me that I would marry some doe eyed damsel that was way too nice to be associated with me.”

“You are such a liar. He did not say that.”

Ash chuckled, running a hand through his hair that was quickly falling out of its gelled trap. “You got me. He said I was going to marry the sexiest sewer rat I could find.”

Eiji barked a laugh, leaning his head against Ash’s shoulder. “Now that I can believe.”

“Griffin used to talk about it, too,” Ash said, and Eiji started. Ash didn’t talk about Shorter often, but he talked about Griffin even less. “He always used to say that I annoyed the shit out of him, but I would make someone very, very happy one day.”

“He was right,” Eiji said, shifting his head on Ash’s shoulder to look up at him. “You made me very, very happy. And you do every day.”

The mood sobered and Ash gripped Eiji’s hand tighter. “I really wish they could be here, y’know? If I got my happy ending, they sure as shit deserved one too.” Eiji looked sadly at him, and Ash was looking down at the waves. “Shorter was the best of us. We all knew it, too. He was more loyal than any of us could ever be, and a better friend than any of us deserved. And, Griffin...” Ash sucked in a breath. “God, I miss him so much every single day.”

“They are here,” Eiji said, squeezing Ash’s hand.

Ash looked at him through glistening eyes. “How do you know?”

“You said it yourself.” Eiji smiled, holding Ash’s hand with his other, as well. “Shorter was loyal. And he would never, ever leave your side. I do not think even death could stop him from doing that. It would not stop Griffin, either. If he was every bit as stubborn as you, that is.”

Ash heaved a breathy sigh, his voice trembling when he spoke. “Yeah,” Ash said, a small smile gracing his lips as he stared at the horizon. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

Eiji leaned his head on his shoulder, and Ash rested his head atop his, and they lingered on the beach long after the sun had dipped below the horizon, hand in hand. 

**Author's Note:**

> please do not ask why the cat is named big bird. you do not want to know
> 
> feedback welcome and appreciated!! <3


End file.
